Being judged, based on one’s authentic nature, allows one to feel wholly compromised, as categorised as an anomaly. Why do we cast judgements or prejudice remarks? What benefit do the critical words provide us? How do such perceptions improve the lifestyles of any involved?
Personally, I do not believe any critical, unwarranted and directive judgements, are of benefit. Mostly due to the undermining nature which ensues for the receiver. Why would stating a callous judgement, make the director of speech feel more powerful? Why would one make such a remark, especially when one does not genuinely know the other they are making the prejudice against?
Judgements, bias, prejudice, discrimination and racism, of all permutations, utterly confounds me.
At some point in time along our individual journeys, we shall, inevitably (and rather unfortunately, albeit courageously), experience judgements from others, dear ones or not. This is simply life and human nature. However, does it have to continue in this trajectory?
Can we, as humankind (all inclusive!), care, love, respect and appreciate all, regardless of one’s aesthetics, characteristics, abilities, talents and capacities? Do we judge to make ourselves feel more empowered, superior or enlightened? What void of innate insecurity and self doubt are the comments masking?
Such may appear frightfully harsh. However, the veracity of the above sentiments, speaks volumes of what I have previously encountered, on numerous occasions, critiquing my multifaceted nature. I must reiterate, that I am not isolated in my experiences!
I recently have received comments, which have made me feel alienated from others due to my proud differences as a young woman residing within the twenty first century. Such are inclusive of, yet not limited to…
“I discover it weird that you do not drink alcohol or like to party. Aren’t you young? Why don’t you go out more often?”. As if, all youth are “socially expected” to immerse themselves in social environments constantly, imbibing alcoholic beverages and staying up to, goodness knows what hours, traipsing home, surreptitiously and exhausted. Simultaneously, aren’t youth constantly deemed as “irresponsible”, “trouble makers” and “not assisting the nations’ binge drinking nature” repeatedly within media appellations? Aren’t University, careers and purpose deemed, almost equally important? Appears a dichotomy, does it not?
Another judgment directed, pertains to the use of my English language; my vocabulary. At a recent job interview, I was blissfully informed, that if I were the successful recipient, were to continue to utilise the proper use of the English language, that I favourably adore and often do, I would appear pompous and demean the intelligence of the staff at the given work environment (Side note: such has and is NEVER my intention to do so!!). Thus, if I did accept or receive the employment, I would have to go, completely against my true self, capabilities, interests and delights, to fill the void of others insecurities. However, aren’t we instructed to be professional in manner when partaking in any forms of communication, especially when enduring a process of employment applications? Interviews included?
Similarly, I have been demanded to “Not try so hard!”, with my English repertoire. “Not trying so hard”. What does that actually mean? How can such be, genuinely interpreted? My interpretation being, that I was not trying “too hard” as I simply am unable to convey my words in any other means. Oh! I do apologise, how would YOU like me to express my words, act and live my life? Please forgive me. How incredibly impertinent of me!
Thus, prior to us making any judgements towards our fellow other, let us cease in our actions and words, to contemplate what and who the other, authentically lives their life as? Attempt to be empathetic in approach; placing oneself in their moulded moccasins. To understand their idiosyncrasies, values, beliefs and thoughts, as best as humanly possible.
An analogy to confirm the concept of judgements, occurred to me when driving two days ago on the motorways. For instance, imagine yourself navigating your car in an 80km per hour zone, safely adhering to the allocated speed. Immediately, a car approaches speedily behind you, upon inspection of your rear view mirror. Trailing close behind, in nearing proximity, desiring you to either; a) alter lanes or b) speed. You have a decision to make. Just as we all possess free will. Which one shall you choose? How will you commandeer your free will? Remain truthful to your conscious and the legal limit, or, speed in order to please the impatient driver behind?
Altering your appearance, behaviour, speech etc, in order to grandiosely favour another’s expectations, is never acceptable. No matter what realm one resides in.
However, what I have acquired, through these umpteenth judgements, is that, no matter how one lives their life, authentically or not, such shall never please anyone. An arduous task it is to please just one person, the pleasing of many can appear daunting and near impossible! Thus, the positive news is that the only individual one is to honour is oneself.
Live YOUR life curated by you. Be your own artist. Embrace your free will, to act, speak and be as you desire. Partake in the freedom of speech we have been privileged, yet accept so sagaciously. As long as YOU are experiencing happiness and purpose in life, do others’ prerogatives hold immense significance?
All shall continue to possess their thoughts and opinions, as we are each entitled. However, we have the free will to decide how we shall utilise all. What decisions shall you implement along your life masterpiece? Discover and BE YOUR OWN SHINING LIGHT!
Declare and disclaim your own path.
Please be kind and considerate to all you encounter ❤️
All of my love, thoughts + light always,
P.S. These images are of the alluring and hypnotising sunset of one of the Greek islands, Santorini, when I blessedly vacationed last July. Every evening proved magical, yet a different light was performed. Thus, be your own sunset. We can each be the sun to direct our own lives, not judge and cumbersomely inflict our desires, unnecessarily onto another ☀️🌟