On Being Me!

Being judged, based on one’s authentic nature, allows one to feel wholly compromised, as categorised as an anomaly. Why do we cast judgements or prejudice remarks? What benefit do the critical words provide us? How do such perceptions improve the lifestyles of any involved?

Personally, I do not believe any critical, unwarranted and directive judgements, are of benefit. Mostly due to the undermining nature which ensues for the receiver. Why would stating a callous judgement, make the director of speech feel more powerful? Why would one make such a remark, especially when one does not genuinely know the other they are making the prejudice against?

Judgements, bias, prejudice, discrimination and racism, of all permutations, utterly confounds me.

At some point in time along our individual journeys, we shall, inevitably (and rather unfortunately, albeit courageously), experience judgements from others, dear ones or not. This is simply life and human nature. However, does it have to continue in this trajectory?

Can we, as humankind (all inclusive!), care, love, respect and appreciate all, regardless of one’s aesthetics, characteristics, abilities, talents and capacities? Do we judge to make ourselves feel more empowered, superior or enlightened? What void of innate insecurity and self doubt are the comments masking?

Such may appear frightfully harsh. However, the veracity of the above sentiments, speaks volumes of what I have previously encountered, on numerous occasions, critiquing my multifaceted nature. I must reiterate, that I am not isolated in my experiences!

I recently have received comments, which have made me feel alienated from others due to my proud differences as a young woman residing within the twenty first century. Such are inclusive of, yet not limited to…

“I discover it weird that you do not drink alcohol or like to party. Aren’t you young? Why don’t you go out more often?”. As if, all youth are “socially expected” to immerse themselves in social environments constantly, imbibing alcoholic beverages and staying up to, goodness knows what hours, traipsing home, surreptitiously and exhausted. Simultaneously, aren’t youth constantly deemed as “irresponsible”, “trouble makers” and “not assisting the nations’ binge drinking nature” repeatedly within media appellations? Aren’t University, careers and purpose deemed, almost equally important? Appears a dichotomy, does it not?

Another judgment directed, pertains to the use of my English language; my vocabulary. At a recent job interview, I was blissfully informed, that if I were the successful recipient, were to continue to utilise the proper use of the English language, that I favourably adore and often do, I would appear pompous and demean the intelligence of the staff at the given work environment (Side note: such has and is NEVER my intention to do so!!). Thus, if I did accept or receive the employment, I would have to go, completely against my true self, capabilities, interests and delights, to fill the void of others insecurities. However, aren’t we instructed to be professional in manner when partaking in any forms of communication, especially when enduring a process of employment applications? Interviews included?

Similarly, I have been demanded to “Not try so hard!”, with my English repertoire. “Not trying so hard”. What does that actually mean? How can such be, genuinely interpreted? My interpretation being, that I was not trying “too hard” as I simply am unable to convey my words in any other means. Oh! I do apologise, how would YOU like me to express my words, act and live my life? Please forgive me. How incredibly impertinent of me!

Thus, prior to us making any judgements towards our fellow other, let us cease in our actions and words, to contemplate what and who the other, authentically lives their life as? Attempt to be empathetic in approach; placing oneself in their moulded moccasins. To understand their idiosyncrasies, values, beliefs and thoughts, as best as humanly possible.

An analogy to confirm the concept of judgements, occurred to me when driving two days ago on the motorways. For instance, imagine yourself navigating your car in an 80km per hour zone, safely adhering to the allocated speed. Immediately, a car approaches speedily behind you, upon inspection of your rear view mirror. Trailing close behind, in nearing proximity, desiring you to either; a) alter lanes or b) speed. You have a decision to make. Just as we all possess free will. Which one shall you choose? How will you commandeer your free will? Remain truthful to your conscious and the legal limit, or, speed in order to please the impatient driver behind?

Altering your appearance, behaviour, speech etc, in order to grandiosely favour another’s expectations, is never acceptable. No matter what realm one resides in.

However, what I have acquired, through these umpteenth judgements, is that, no matter how one lives their life, authentically or not, such shall never please anyone. An arduous task it is to please just one person, the pleasing of many can appear daunting and near impossible! Thus, the positive news is that the only individual one is to honour is oneself.

Live YOUR life curated by you. Be your own artist. Embrace your free will, to act, speak and be as you desire. Partake in the freedom of speech we have been privileged, yet accept so sagaciously. As long as YOU are experiencing happiness and purpose in life, do others’ prerogatives hold immense significance?

All shall continue to possess their thoughts and opinions, as we are each entitled. However, we have the free will to decide how we shall utilise all. What decisions shall you implement along your life masterpiece? Discover and BE YOUR OWN SHINING LIGHT!

Declare and disclaim your own path.

Please be kind and considerate to all you encounter ❤️

All of my love, thoughts + light always,

Maddie x

P.S. These images are of the alluring and hypnotising sunset of one of the Greek islands, Santorini, when I blessedly vacationed last July. Every evening proved magical, yet a different light was performed. Thus, be your own sunset. We can each be the sun to direct our own lives, not judge and cumbersomely inflict our desires, unnecessarily onto another ☀️🌟

13 thoughts on “On Being Me!

  1. Hello Lovely Madi

    Reading you is my pleasure .. thank you. I’ll ramble if I may. I try not to judge people cos it’s a waste of time and energy .. besides it doesn’t change the gentlemen .. by definition he is a constant. Personally I do not mind being judged .. because that’s when I know who to walk away from. Ahah. Taking criticism .. no problem because I’ll take it and try to better myself with a smile.

    In my head (my secret place) I have no problem categorising folks because it simplifies my thought process. I am an Engineer and did major in mathematics so categories are part of my life .. it has nothing to do with racism or prejudice eg. I need 127 grunts or 2 x monkies up the top or a girlie to man the front etc. The key here is the intent. My intent is to simply group in my mind, not to be derogatory. I’m comfortable with this. Prejudices are what fools use for reason as Voltaire puts it.

    Lighten up .. don’t take it too seriously., it’s the new age and English is a dynamic language eg. Fuck is now acceptable on BBC TV. Lighten up. Another Voltaire : God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Lighten up.

    I’m not implying or suggesting we go around hurting folks but simply stating to tread light my darling.

    I lost your trust once .. no I’ll never forget that. I used words loosely as I do. The intent was not to be malicious or anything like that .. but I did hurt you for which I’m forever sorry. It’s also a matter of perception .. a friend calls me a bloody Injun .. I have no problem with that .. just as coffee doesn’t mind being called cofy.

    The driving analogy? Over thought perhaps. I ignore them .. they can overtake me if they are on a VIP mission. No decision to be made by me.

    You’re absolutely right of course .. it’s why I live as I want to and as I do .. never as someone else may wish me to.

    Oh, I do love the pic that holds both, the sun and the moon. Last July? .. the year before .. no? How time flies.

    Like

    1. Hello lovely Kirit ☺️
      Thank you for your willingness to peruse the blog. My heart is full and continues to beat with a grateful rhythm ❤️ thank you once again for your reassuring perspective, input, guidance and sagacity. Your words uplift and ground me. Something for which I am eternally indebted to you for!
      I hope that you are well and continue to enjoy your exhilarating travels, that you are worthy of in abundance? Continue to shine and embrace every moment. All of my love, thoughts, hugs and positive energy always 💛💛

      Like

  2. Positive vibes abound! I loved this read, I related to it entirely. I just left a workplace that I felt stifled the “me” in me. Also, on people pleasing – yas! Asking anyone to go out of their way to change themselves in any of the above listed ways is wrong and will ultimately result in negative effects. Transversely, no one should ever feel as though they should have to change, harness, or filter themselves in order to please another. I’ve felt that way, and you’re right, we choose how to let it affect us and the extent to which we let it. Much love and positive vibes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you lovely soul for your kind words, willingness to peruse the content and having all resonate with you. Such fills me with an abundance of joy and warmth. I am apologetic to know of your recent journey with the workplace. However, commend and admire you wholly for realising your self worth; to immerse yourself in environments and surrounded by others which allow the authentic you to shine brightly! Go you!! I hope that this response discovers you well? Continue to be all that you embody unapologetically. This world requires your brilliance in abundance ❤️ all of my love, thoughts, respect, gratitude, light and positive energy always x

      Liked by 1 person

  3. An addendum .. your English .. is your English .. and that’s how it should be .. like your face or your finger prints .. it’s what makes you. Just like my language makes me ME. It’s one of the main reasons why I read books by different authors .. to take pleasure in his language. Of recent I’ve noted on my travels how many folks say “Keh” instead of “I beg your pardon” or similar. New age, new language. All’s ok. I’m of the belief that people are talking less and less .. the cell phone Gen. I do believe that language and the use of words will vanish .. to be replaced by code or similar. There are many who think I’m foul mouthed. I beg to differ. I say go forth Madi and fret not. Speak as you do. You are speaking for yourself, not for others. In anycase English is a dynamic language and your English may be the language of the future .. who knows .. .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words and explanation Kirit. You truly are remarkable! Continue to embody and exude all that you are, never cease!! 💛🙏🏻✨

      Like

  4. It’s funny…

    Back home in India, I have been chastised for conversing in English with my peers. I’ve been called an “Angrez” or slang for a Britisher. Clearly the scars of colonialism still run rampant in most parts of our country…

    It’s funny though… I once read about a graffiti message where it was a rant about young people and how they party too much, partake in alcohol and not respect elders one bit. What was so special about the sentimentality behind this graffiti? Nothing much except for the fact that the graffiti itself was thousands of years old and was found etched on the ruins of a Greek wall.

    This really made me chuckle because it just goes to show how regardless of our so-called achievements and advancements, we still are the same. Thousands of years ago in Ancient Greece, young people were chastised for not respecting the elders…and this has continued to persist generation after generation after generation…

    The reason why your article resonated with me is because in the past such people would bother me greatly and threaten to ruin my mood and day. It felt like a new problem, something that arose this generation where people suddenly appear to be insensitive and boorish all of a sudden with no provocation or reason. And then I realized it…

    Deep down from the richest man in a penthouse to a wife in Wisconsin, from a teenager walking in Melbourne to a man driving home in Hong Kong…..deep down…no one really knows what the hell is going is and people are just half-assing it. It’s the age-old adage of ‘fake it till you make it’ in action. No one really knows anything but they pretend to and therefore in their ignorance feel entitled to give YOU advice and correct you on what’s wrong, what’s not and what needs to be done.

    But no one really has a fucking clue! XD

    None one really has any clue about the state of the world or even human nature for that matter; its too complicated, convoluted and perhaps even far more expansive for our tiny primate minds to ever comprehend.

    Therefore if no one has a clue about what’s going on….I suddenly can’t take them seriously any longer. Because everyone is in the same boat as I am; we are all sailing in this tiny blue planet stuck in the orbit of a yellow star.

    So I listen instead. Acknowledge. Nod. Agree. And then go do my own shit, I do my own thing.

    These people can’t bother me anymore, especially now with the second reason that most people are way less intelligent and lacking in common sense than we give them credit for. But that’s a musing for another day….

    Love your article and the way you signed off in the end…just like me. Thank you for this honour, Maddie. Looking forward to reading more insights from you as always 💜🙌

    -The Random Bangalorean

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ahh, I love this so much Maddie 🙂

    That no matter how hard we can try, we can never completely please anyone. That we need to fulfill and approve of ourselves, and I think by doing this we will be helping others live their best lives. But it begins with oneself. It begins with being your own artist-as you stated above. Thank you for this.

    I love those photos so much too!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Ken for your upmost support and willingness to peruse the contents. I appreciate you dear friend! ☺️🙌🏻✨
      Such is most true! One must fixate all of one’s energy towards oneself in order to heal, propel forward and assist others. In the process, one can still inspire others whilst empowering oneself. A gift of life! We are all individual master pieces which is utterly beautiful! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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