Transformation of Thoughts + the Journey of Enlightenment.

Transformation of thoughts equates to happiness!

Feeling endlessly contained within a glass receptacle, has proven to be my preferred, comfortable and introverted abode for as long as I have known.

Experiencing a profoundly exhausting inability to shatter the surrounding glass bottle or embark on a ferocious ascent, in order to alleviate myself of the captured nature felt.

Alas (she fearlessly sings), the recent week has permitted myself a sense of clarity, empowerment, hope, enlightenment, courage and a newfound outlook on what, I personally believe, is the significance of life.

After withdrawing from my academic studies of Nutrition for this year, I have never felt so content, joyous, whole and alive! The authentic Maddie, which I have been eagerly seeking throughout my umpteenth years of recovery is now shining forth! She has escaped the glass bottle to superfluously flow into a glass half full. No longer observing others experience joy and light in life, but her own.

It was not the study which hindered me, nor was it ensuring that I completely understood the significance of my life. Rather, it was the questioning of oneself. Realising that in order to propel forwards, I must live for me. To do all for myself – not live life for others or through others in order to please and make them happy.

The only way one can truly be expressively joyous is if one takes ownership and complete control of their own direction in life. Making one’s own decisions, being accountable for all consequences, learning from every opportunity and living each day with an open and honest heart.

Although, majority of my days of recent have consisted of sheer darkness, a light has entered the capacity of my mind; allowing for opportunities, life and love to blissfully enter. Life is about navigating the waves of depression, darkness and demoralisation, in conflation with joy, love, laughter, hope, opportunities and nature to be equally embraced.

There are positives and negatives to each day we live and breathe. Which make life non-linear and marvellously stunning!!

Many joyous moments have been encountered, a few are listed below. By no means an exhaustive list! Learning to embrace these moments in life and cherish them are a gift. I am not negating that negativity prevails, I am simply adopting to focus on positive, beautiful and genuine souls, experiences and fulfilling moments to life. Which I hope and dream for you all!

Happiness to me is…

⁃ Awaking every morning to observe and experience a new day, consistent with new opportunities, moments and individuals.

⁃ Stewing apples with cinnamon so to permeate the household with the comforting aroma. Deliciously looking forward to accompany my homemade muesli for breakfast!

⁃ Preparing and eating a home cooked meal with my Mum and sister Libby.

⁃ Assisting my Mama (Paternal Grandmother) to clean her Venetian blinds whilst conversing raucously in the process, having accomplished the task without realising!!

⁃ Sitting around the dinner table at the end of the day to become accustomed to how everyone’s day proceeded.

⁃ Receiving, listening to and responding to differing forms of correspondence from my dear friends, near and far.

⁃ Stumbling over my words and being content with such; not taking myself too seriously.

⁃ Enjoying cleaning the house with my Mum every Saturday, to feel a sense of accomplishment, pride and happiness.

⁃ Spending quality time with my family and friends.

⁃ Going for walks to receive fresh air whilst immersing oneself in surrounding nature.

⁃ Making nutritious snacks and treats to gift to family and friends.

⁃ Venturing to and exploring new aspects of my home city.

⁃ Feeling the warmth of the glistening sun on my skin and the breeze moving swiftly through my hair.

⁃ Reading novels, so to feel a sense of escapism in another realm through the words of the author. Appreciating the English language.

⁃ Spending quality time with loyal friends.

⁃ Assisting kind souls.

⁃ Receiving a smile and greeting from a stranger when out and about.

⁃ Revelling in the happiness of others (especially my friends awaiting marriage, welcoming their first child into the world, migrating to another country and embracing new means of employment!).

⁃ Being accepted for a new means of employment and knowing I am capable of such.

⁃ Being an after school Nanny; reminding myself that it is perfectly acceptable to release one’s carefree, inner child liberally!

⁃ Picking fresh tomatoes and beans from my Mother’s and Dida’s home gardens respectively.

⁃ Laughing loudly, walking tall with pride and expressing how I truly feel without the concern of others.

⁃ Journeying on my beautiful path to recovery, life, happiness, enlightenment and love.

I have realised that as long as one is healthy, happy and well, that is when one adores life. As if one is healthy one is wealthy!

All of my love, thoughts and hugs,

Maddie x

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