My living analogy of Anxiety.

Entrapment.

Loathsome towards my approach.

Answer me this scrutiniser…

Why is it that my lacklustre eyes can observe unobstructed.

Yet am incapable of reaching out to feel tangible items?

The tingling of a comforting embrace.

The feathery grass beneath the soles of my feet.

The cool breeze encapsulating me.

The warmth of the glistening sun and light the world exudes?

Why can I smell, yet cannot experience the concoction of delights which encircle me?

Why have I the gift to love.

Yet am powerless to feel or be loved?

I am taunted.

Suffocated.

Fragmented.

Hurt.

Broken.

Worn.

Exhausted.

Disparaged.

Incapacitated.

I aimlessly gaze above for a means of escaping this internal stagnation.

A redundant action with no means of navigating an exit.

A cap, tightly fixated aloft.

Sealed closed.

Impossibility.

Finality.

The viscous film surrounding me feels cool, crisp, roborant and whole to my delicate caress.

All of which, I cowardly lack to wholly embody.

I wish to evaporate.

To reduce in stature so to be forgotten.

To not experience pain. Ordeals and trials.

Reaching, courageously out to shatter the material that encases me, appears mightily undemanding, whilst dichotomously onerous.

Shall I pound the transparent glass energetically to break free?

Or,

Do I wish to remain, entranced by familiarity, unease, comfort and anxiety?

I feel…I am captured.

Living vicariously through others passing obliviously by.

Lifeless. Insignificant. Isolated.

When will this cease.

When will I possess the power to be liberated?

When will the glass cascade away?

When will the air I breathe here be terminated?

When can I authentically live as ME in the “real” world?!

~ Trapped in a Glass Bottle

Maddie x

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