Peering Eyes of Loathsome Discomfort.

Peering eyes seep deeply,

Penetrating my soul.

Glancing over every crevice of my physical being.

Observing my stance,

Startled by my bony prominences,

My waif like appearance.

The persistent eyes glare relentlessly,

Unable to detract from my withering frame.

Alienation of self ensues.

Navigating my inferior gaze downwards,

Feeling a disappointment and embarrassment of who I am.

Grotesque.

Repugnant.

Repulsive.

Odious.

Objectified.

Belittled.

Gargantuan.

Lacklustre.

Disapproved.

Unworthy.

Foreign matter consuming unnecessary space and air to BREATHE!!

Oh why, oh why do you look at me so?

Do I make you uncomfortable with my lifeless and emancipated vessel?

Or with my mentalities?

Why canโ€™t your intrigued eyes accept me?

I wish to vociferously exclaim at the top of my lungs,

That I reside with Anorexia!

That I do not believe I am thin!

I am the way I am due to my distorted perceptions and,

My deceiving eyes and

Wandering cognitions.

To scream that I awake, breathe, laugh, cry, converse, love, give, live….just as you!

Do not be afraid of my appearance,

Or of me.

I have not altered immensely.

I am still as multi faceted as always,

Possessing the same internal energy,

Intricately woven,

Tattooed to the depths of my core.

There is nothing to be frightened about.

I am me.

You are you.

Uniqueness.

Anorexia is my veil, my comfort, my companion in disguise.

Whom shall gracefully glide away when she is prepared.

Yet, I wait patiently for that day to arrive.

Continuing to live as a human being.

Just as you.

~ Maddie x

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